I ran across this letter the other day on Facebook and it hit so close to home that I had to share it. There was a time in my life when I kept a really clean home. I prided myself on everything being spic and span and everything always smelling great and being in its place. It was easy with one child. Then came my second daughter and it was a little bit harder and a tad more stressful, but I still did it. However, I found myself getting upset with her for just being a kid and doing things kids do ... make messes. Then the twins were born and every hope I ever had of keeping my house clean for the next 15 years, at least, went right out the window. I use to stress to hard about it. I use to get upset EVERY single time they would make the smallest mess ( and this is coming from a mom whose kids played in their own poop) ... STRESS LEVEL 100. I had to decide to let it go, and even though messiness still makes me cringe ( and I do still stress out about it at times), I've learned that messes will get made, get cleaned up, and get made again ... and it's okay. There are more important matters at hand. This open letter explains it so well.
"You all want immaculate homes. You want to cover your house in bleach & you want the perfect grey and white show home. I get it, I really do. But this ‘trend’ has become ridiculous. People aren’t sitting with their children at dinner time because they need to wash the pots and pans straight away. Children aren’t playing with play dough because god forbid the cleaning up. The toys are all hidden away in their bedrooms incase you have a visitor. Bed time stories are non existent because the floor won’t mop itself.
Slow down mummas.
Soon enough your children will all be grown up, they’ll fly the nest and you’ll be sat alone in your perfectly tidy home wishing for one more day of chaos.
It’s not just your home, it’s theirs too. I won’t turn my home into an instagram worthy fragile building. I’ll keep tripping over lego, I’ll laugh whenever the children have more chocolate biscuit around their mouths than in it. I will put the tub of ‘pink stuff’ down and I’ll spend my last £2 buying them an ice cream on the beach. You can moan about the state of my home. You can move that pile of toys of the sofa before you take a seat. But I’d rather spend time with my child than make my house immaculate to please you. Love us for who we are 💜
Your house is a building, that’s all it is. Your home is the heart beats that fill the walls. It’s the laughter as your children hose down their sandy toes. It’s the squeals of excitement as you do the funny voices in the bedtime story.
Sing to them Mummas. Sing until your throat is sore. Read that story over and over until the pages turn crisp. Pick them up, even if it is the 10th time today, one day they won’t ask anymore.
Your child’s fondest memories won’t be watching you on your hands and knees scrubbing the floor. You have forever to tidy up. Your children will never be as young as they are today.
If you’re one of the lucky ones who will wake up tomorrow morning, appreciate it. If you woke up tomorrow and all the people you love were gone, your house would look the same, your home would never feel the same again ✨"
- Niamh Hocking