I use to apologize for everything. Even when something clearly wasn't my fault in my mind I had to be to blame in some way. Now, that could sound a bit narcissistic, but I think it stems from a lifetime of abandonment issues. When you're rejected over and over again in your life, even by your own family members, then you MUST be doing something to make that happen... right? That is how I came to feel. That was my truth. If something bad happened, if someone was feeling some sort of way, I felt that I must have done something to contribute to it. And I didn't want to feel rejected anymore so I tried to be what I thought people wanted me to be.
. I always felt like there must be something about myself I needed to change in order for people to accept me. Maybe I was talking too much ... better be quiet. Maybe I was too sarcastic ... better take it down a notch. Maybe I was too much of a burden ... better fade into the background. Because if I don't please people they won't accept me ... and I will be alone once again.
That was my truth .