I use to apologize for everything. Even when something clearly wasn't my fault in my mind I had to be to blame in some way. Now, that could sound a bit narcissistic, but I think it stems from a lifetime of abandonment issues. When you're rejected over and over again in your life, even by your own family members, then you MUST be doing something to make that happen... right? That is how I came to feel. That was my truth. If something bad happened, if someone was feeling some sort of way, I felt that I must have done something to contribute to it. And I didn't want to feel rejected anymore so I tried to be what I thought people wanted me to be.
. I always felt like there must be something about myself I needed to change in order for people to accept me. Maybe I was talking too much ... better be quiet. Maybe I was too sarcastic ... better take it down a notch. Maybe I was too much of a burden ... better fade into the background. Because if I don't please people they won't accept me ... and I will be alone once again.
That was my truth .
You are enough. You are not responsible for the way other people feel about you, and you damn sure aren't responsible for their happiness, anger or any of their emotions or actions. You are only responsible for you.
If people can't handle you at 100% YOU then that is 100% their problem ... not yours.
They called me names, they created lies about me, they beat me down with their words, and they demanded I apologize.
In a past life, I would have fallen all over myself apologizing and explaining what I really meant by what I said, biting my fingernails, and hoping that they didn't hate me even though, in my mind, I knew what I meant when I wrote the words and it wasn't malicious.
But, you know what I did instead? I stood my ground and I let them know I wouldn't be apologizing because of their choice to take offense to what I said. I know how I meant it. I know who I am. And I am not allowing anyone to take that from me anymore.
So next time you feel like you need to apologize so someone will accept you, I want you to stop and think. Did I mean what did/said? Is this actually something I need to apologize for or is someone just uncomfortable with who I am? Stand your ground and remember you do not need to dilute yourself so people will accept you. You are enough and you will never apologize for being 100% authentically YOU.